Becoming Restoried Reflections
#4 | What Can We Say in Six Words?
In the 1920s, legend has it that Ernest Hemingway wrote an entire narrative in the confines of six words: “For Sale: baby shoes, never worn.”
Just over a century later, we opened one of our Becoming Restoried sessions with the prompt:
Tell the story of why you’re here, in six words.
The gears were turning.
My mind wandered to the space between the question and answer — the prompt and my six words. This is why I love poetry, particularly the tension it holds with storytelling. When allowed few words, what can we communicate? How many punches can we pack? Or pull?
Like humans in the vastness of the universe, something small — our body or a set amount of words — can carry a lot. Perhaps this is why poetry is the only form of language — arguably its source code — that can capture the present moment. It toys with time, silence, and that space we live in—the ground between questions and answers that create more questions: stories.
So, my six-word story. Before Becoming Restoried, I was in survival mode, and have only recently made attempts to break free of it. Or, rather, do more than survive, because I don’t like who I am in survival mode. I don’t think any of us do, because we all know that surviving and living aren’t the same thing. This difference is what makes us human. So I distilled, deeper each time:
What does survival mean to me?
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Surviving traps: being someone I’m not
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Survival: trapped as someone I’m not
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Awareness: survival requires someone I’m not
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Awareness: surviving living outside your values
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Awareness: sometimes survival lives outside my values
Oof. I’m here because these six words make me uncomfortable. The words ‘survival’ and ‘lives’ are right next to each, both packing and pulling those punches I mentioned. I feel like a different person in survival mode — as if this other version of me lives in my body, sometimes operating outside my values. It’s both necessary and cruel to be acutely aware of this.
Michael recently shared a few things that made this six-word story easier to hold (not bury or digest, hold). He shared:
“All humans will sacrifice their values in service of survival.”
“The pain we cause others is not a reflection of who we are but how we are.”
“It’s not about our character but our wounds.”
I still struggled with this. I’ve tended to think that my values and character should be above and in control of how my wounds manifest. Sometimes they’re not — trauma can shake the canyons of our souls beyond our control.
Deep breath. I paused on the fact that I still included the word “awareness.” My values and character are what I do in response to awareness.
I walked around my house with all these words, twiddling them between the neurons in my brain. I stopped in front of our piano. Besides a veil of dust, on top of the piano is my small succulent in a bright orange pot, shaped and decorated like a Calavera (a decorated skull for the Day of the Dead). My plant’s name is Héctor (after the movie Coco). Despite only needing water every three weeks and being forced to absorb indirect winter sunlight through the window, Héctor is thriving. I have no idea how because my sister’s identical plant is a crunchy, pale mess right beside it. I looked at him again. His stem and leaves have nearly outgrown the pot, arching up and over toward the window, as if presenting an animated speech to our front lawn. Perhaps Héctor, though likely wishing he were in Arizona or Nevada, is alive and thriving because he was first aware. Even rooted in a place beyond his control, he found where to open himself up to.
It’s powerful to be aware of the fact that I have occasionally sacrificed my values in service of survival. But it’s freeing to be aware of how I can find support and healing from survival-based wounds (that I have and have caused as a result). These two pieces of awareness—together—are my values and character. And with them, I can locate which direction I need to open and grow in. Thanks for the nudge, Héctor. :)
You can take Becoming Restoried’s What Story Are You Living assessment, or join one of their ongoing free virtual workshops.
